When a whisper seems like a shout, I know I need to get some sleep. But I can’t lay down without first taking off my bunny ears.

“A brick could be used to enslave humanity. No wait, a brick can’t do that—but t…”

“A brick could be used as a steak knife, and a fly swatter could be used as a me…”

“I long for your love like the length of a midget.”

“The only time I like traffic lights turning yellow or red is in the fall.”