When everything is working out for you, it means you are in the wrong gym.

“It’s hot as a watermelon in this cantaloupe called pineapple. And that’s a fact.”

“Men lie to get laid, women lie about orgasms, and hermaphrodites lie to themsel…”

“After I’m famous, I want my statue to be made out of beige Jell-O, and I want t…”

“I killed him, but that doesn’t mean I enjoyed every second of every month of th…”