When I saw her naked, my penis went from hash brown to French fry.


“Don’t point your accusatory finger at me, unless you want me to wrap my hand ar…”

“If I shake your hand, and then jack off, it’s as if you gave me an indirect han…”

“It's sad to see old friends have to move away, but at the same time, you know t…”

“I suffer from tennis elbow. It’s an old masturbating injury from when I was tra…”