When I tap my car’s brakes, my horn beeps. Don’t make me flick on my windshield wipers.

“A brick could be dropped on your mother-in-law’s head from the height of 66.6 f…”

“A brick could be used to say hello in a foreign language. Like most great words…”

“Looking at you in a mirror makes you more of an ally than an opponent, because …”

“I don’t care that I no longer have my grandma to keep me company at the dining …”