When I was young, I loved summer and hated winter. When I got older I loved winter and hated summer. Now that I’m even older, and wiser, I hate both summer and winter.

“You know what show I thought was a riot? Live coverage of Egyptians overthrowin…”

“I’m running a marathon. I won’t be jogging, walking, or sprinting, but I will b…”

“The moon is an orbital albino, and it gets tons of sunlight, so I propose Opera…”

“I heard everything you said, listened to half, and agreed with a quarter. And 1…”