When I wear my confessional glove it’s super tempting to give myself a velvet handjob. Author: Jarod Kintz Copy Quote More from Jarod Kintz “If I’m going to write a book every American will want to read, it’s got to have…” “A brick could be used as a musical instrument. But it would take someone as dea…” “I make love like an albino sings—softly, and from sunset to sunrise (except in …” “I run like I have cirrus clouds for legs and rainbow knees. What is life, if no…”