When I’m cold and I fart, I always admonish myself saying, “Stop! Close the back door. You’re letting all the cold air in.

“It’s not true that selling stolen goods has no overhead. Prison’s got a ceiling.”

“A brick could be used to replace the dollar as the world’s reserve currency. Do…”

“Being out in the sunlight brightens my mood, especially if that sunlight is ref…”

“Some guys are the type of people who bring brass knuckles to a fight. I've alwa…”