When I’m feeling down, I make myself a big bowl of Up Soup. The bowl only looks empty, but in reality it’s full of hope. Grab a spoon, there’s plenty for both of us.

“Life is short. But so are midgets.”

“I have extremely great aim when it comes to peeing. I can, for instance, manage…”

“I’m not going to beg for my clone to get on his knees and grovel.”

“My eyes were blurry from being in love, and my feelings were as furry as Bigfoo…”