When you said you were ugly it was the most untrue thing you’ve ever said. Well, it’s true!

“I’m about to cross a time zone, and I feel younger already. If I keep traveling…”

“If my name were Ouch, it would pain me to introduce myself. As it is now, I onl…”

“I laced up my sneakers, but not with the intention to sneak around. I was just …”

“Just because I wear a size 14 shoe does not mean I’ll take it off when I go to …”