When you see my skill with a brick, you’ll think I’m skilled under the blanket. But I’m not.


“Burn my eyebrows and call me Bette. But if I’ve got eyebrows, don’t call me Bet…”

“I hired a chauffeur and I became a motivational speaker, because I don’t drive—…”

“I once had a professor who could condense an entire lecture into a can of froze…”

“The greatest thing in the world is love. But the worst isn’t hate, it’s ignorin…”