Women get lonely, while men merely get horny. I should know, because I’d feel lonely even if I were surrounded by 11 clones of myself.

“I plan on putting off death my whole life.”

“I went to school to be a comedian. I was always cracking jokes in class. And af…”

“A brick could be used as a replacement for an erection. Hey, I did it in the ea…”

“I sell black markers on the black market. I am personally responsible for 50% o…”