Would you mind terribly if instead of serving desert, I masturbated quietly at the dinner table? I’m training for Congress.

“If you’re looking for someone to stand in the unemployment line, I’m the man fo…”

“I want to give myself a ridiculous nickname. Something like “Knuckle Cock,” onl…”

“She had no mind, but I didn’t mind, because she had a body like an upside down …”

“If you waive my fee, I’ll wave at you. I might even wink.”