Would you rather be affluent, or influential? I’d rather be fluent in the language of love.

“My couch is coffee-colored. I can thank Starbucks and clumsiness for that.”

“I’m the kind of guy who turns my fan on in winter, only to then go and add anot…”

“Why send roses? Wouldn’t it be more romantic to deliver a dozen orgasms? For on…”

“It's sad to see old friends have to move away, but at the same time, you know t…”