Yesterday is as ancient as a millennia ago, because both are forever out of reach.

“The office is painted with green and red stripes. It’s not painted that way so …”

“My eyes are so close together that when I cross my eyes, my irises actually tra…”

“I just started seeing someone, which is a relief, because the last girl I dated…”

“I water fake plants, because I’m growing a garden of fake mustaches. Lest no ma…”