You can tell people the truth, but they'll never believe until the event. Until it's too late. In the meantime, the truth will just piss them off and get you in a lot of trouble

“I would pay snakes to bite her.”

“It's obsequious little nicety-nice girls like me who allow assholes to run the …”

“Peo­ple used what they called a tele­phone be­cause they hat­ed be­ing close to…”

“I was tired and crazy and rushed, and every time I boarded a plane, I wanted th…”