You can’t become a famous garage band if you never perform outside your garage. That’s why my band plays in my driveway.

“The perfect vehicle to take to the moon would be a two-door Saturn with a sunro…”

“My coffee gets increasingly better the more I drink and the closer I come to th…”

“I drink coffee like other men play basketball. I drink like a woman, and that’s…”

“I’m 30% in love, and if I ever rise to 70%, then I’ll be 100% in love. But I’ll…”