You could empty the trash and my love for you still wouldn’t fit inside. But just because it won’t fit, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t empty the trash.

“If I had a clone, he’d better be my equal, and not my better. Can you imagine h…”

“I’d love to create a personal profile on a dating site with a headline that rea…”

“My grandpa doesn’t even have a grand to his name.”

“A brick could be covered in black fur, cradled, pet, and called Mr. Fizzlebush.…”