You could say I lost my cool when I got heckled, but I wasn’t cool to begin with. Man, those nursing home knitters are quite the formidable social group when you’re not hip—or if you haven’t had a hip replacement.

“I am prophetic. I predicted it would snow tomorrow yesterday, and sure enough t…”

“Some people should have stopped singing in the 60s, even if they were born in t…”

“Do I look like someone you know? Well you don’t know me, so why don’t you go bo…”

“A brick could be used as a child’s game to improve memory. I forgot how exactly…”