You just tell me when and where, and not only will I not be there, but I’ll also be late.

“I think the most heavenly food is fluffy white clouds.”

“I want to weigh less, not through diet and exercise, but by acquiring a faulty …”

“A date is a place, a destination. March 5th, 1982 is the ideal tourist trap.”

“I like saying things that are both repetitive and repetitive. But I never repea…”