You know what really chokes me up? Being strangled.

“A brick could be used to keep your sandwich pressed down, so your meat doesn't …”

“My new book is going well. It’s practically writing itself! Actually, what I me…”

“If love were a faucet, I’d not only continue, but I’d increase the frequency wi…”

“Hoping to get a head start on the next day, I eat breakfast the night before. T…”