You tell me you love me, but I’m not sure you know what love is, or how fast it flies, or how much it resembles a UFO, or what kind of weapon you’d use to shoot it down.

“A brick could be used as a blanket, if you’re a roach or politician. Warmth can…”

“A blanket could be used to show love, by providing warmth, comfort, and an itch…”

“When the dust is settled, I’ll be there, wearing a maid’s outfit.”

“If you make guns illegal, the only people who will have them will be criminals—…”