Put your badass faces on and follow me.
Ilona AndrewsWe don't need teenage bouda sex fiends as interns.
How do you know he is a sex fiend?
He is fifteen and he's a bouda. Hello?
swore. “Barabas said you might say that. I’m supposed to tell you this.” Ascanio cleared his throat and produced a remarkably accurate impression of Barabas’s tenor. “Courage, Your Majesty.” “I will kill him.” “The Beast Lord or Barabas?” “Both.
Ilona AndrewsSay 'pop.'"
"Pop?"
"That was the sound of me pulling your head out of your ass.
Tags: kate ilona-andrews magic-slays ascanio
And how did your day go?" I asked Ascanio.
He turned to me, a dreamy look on his pretty face. "We killed things. There was blood. Fountains of blood. And then we had barbecue.
Tags: kate-daniels ascanio
Where is the bane of my existence?"
"In the shower, freshening up."
Damn it all to hell. "Oh God, who did Ascanio screw now?"
"No, no, he's covered in blood."
"Oh good." Wait a minute. "The kid is covered in blood and we're relieved. There is something wrong with us.
Tags: kate-daniels ascanio andrea-nash
Did those nice church ladies come by again?"
He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else.
Tags: church funny awesome hilarious threesome kate-daniels andrea ascanio
You could buy a car for fifty thousand dollars. A really nice car.” Ascanio’s eyes lit up. “A Hummer. You could buy a converted Hummer.”
“You don’t need a Hummer.” I said.
“Chicks dig the Hummer.”
“You don`t need any chicks either.”
He gave me an injured look. “I have needs.”
“I have needs too and right now I need you to concentrate on tracking down Jamar`s collection. Get to it.”
- Andrea
Tags: ilona-andrews ascanio andrea-nash gunmetal-magic
I've been assigned to bodyguard you."
You've got to be kidding me.
Derek snorted.
Ascanio pretended not to hear it. "The Beast Lord spoke to me this morning. I'm responsible for your well-being, and if you get injured, I'll answer to him personally."
Oh, that bastard. Found the kid an impossible job, did he?
Derek laughed quietly.
Ascanio finally deemed it necessary to acknowledge Derek's existence. "Is something funny?"
"I don't even know you, and I feel sorry for you.
Tags: kate-daniels derek ascanio
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