And now I've got to explain the smell that was in there before I went in there. Does that ever happen to you? It's not your fault. You've held your breath, you just wanna get out, and now you open the door and you have to explain, 'Oh! Listen, there's an odor in there and I didn't do it. It's bad.

Ellen DeGeneres

Tags: stink bathroom embarrassment odor scent smell



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Lady and gentleman, when my parents left Korea with nothing but the clothes on their backs and the considerable wealth they had amassed in the shipping business, they had a dream. They had a dream that one day amid the snowy hilltops of western North Carolina, their son would lose his virginity to a cheerleader in the woman's bathroom of a Waffle House just off the interstate. My parents have sacrificed so much for this dream! And that is why we must journey on, despite all trials and tribulations! Not for me and least of all for the poor cheerleader in question, but for my parents and indeed for all immigrants who came to his great nation in what they themselves could never have: CHEERLEADER SEX.

John Green

Tags: virginity sex immigration bathroom cheerleaders



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Then came the time for the evening visit to the toilet, for which, in all likelihood, you had waited, all atremble, all day. How relieved, how eased, the whole world suddenly became! How the great questions all simplified themselves at the same instant---did you feel it?

Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn

Tags: relief bathroom



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I have notes in my bathroom, yellow notes, and I stick 'em on the mirror, things that happened that were uplifting boosters for me. Notes that say, "Today is special, make today count." And then I have one note on the mirror in the middle that says, "Look at the other notes.

Burt Bacharach

Tags: humour bathroom mirror notes sticky-notes



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There are four categories of questions Emmily asks:
1. Can I please go to the bathroom?
2. Where is the bathroom?
3. Is it okay if I raise my hand and ask a question?
4. I don't understand anything you've said in the last thirty minutes. Could you explain it again? Also the last six weeks.

Jim Benton

Tags: dumb funny question bathroom



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Will you sleep with me?" he asked softly, before grinning suddenly. "In the tub?

Shelly Crane

Tags: humor bathroom eli clara tub



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Everyone wanted answers I wasn't ready to give.

Lucy Christopher

Tags: gemma interrogation bathroom airport kidnapping ty



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...his lazy eye drifting around the room like a child looking for the bathroom.

Chuck Klosterman

Tags: child bathroom klosterman lazy-eye



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I'll meet you outside," I said. No way was I actually doing to shout 'I have to pee' at the top of my lungs.

Stella Lennon

Tags: humor bathroom



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No, I've been doing this myself forever. I could have gone in here myself, but my daddy doesn't want me to get raped. That happens all the time in bathrooms.

Gabrielle Zevin

Tags: bathroom



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