The guarantee of safety in a battering relationship can never be based upon a promise from the perpetrator, no matter how heartfelt. Rather, it must be based upon the self-protective capability of the victim. Until the victim has developed a detailed and realistic contingency plan and has demonstrated her ability to carry it out, she remains in danger of repeated abuse.

Judith Lewis Herman

Tags: safety refuge violence victim protection promises survivor abuse perpetrator domestic-violence victimization abused-women battered-women batterers battering self-protection



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In a shelter meant for battered women, there were only two reasons a person would decide to leave. One, she had decided to launch out on her own and begin a new life. Or two, she had decided to go back to the one who had hurt her. It happened all the time. Some women came here seven or eight times before they made the choice to give up on their marriages and refuse to live in a dangerous place.

Deborah Bedford A Morning Like This

Tags: pain women family marriage battered-women



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