My mother told me that life isn't always about pleasing yourself and that sometimes you have to do things for the sole benefit of another human being. I completely agreed with her, but reminded her that that was what blow jobs were for.

Chelsea Handler

Tags: humor self-sacrifice selflessness sex giving oral-sex blow-job giving-and-receiving selfless



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Why are you offering me ten thousand dollars a month for babysitting? You didn’t pay the nannies that. It’s ridiculous. For ten thousand a month, you should not only get child care, you should get your house cleaned, your laundry done, your tires rotated, and if I were you, I’d insist on nightly blow jobs. Did you think I wouldn’t notice that you’re still trying to keep your thumb on me?

Jennifer Crusie

Tags: nanny babysitting blow-job child-care



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I'm good at blowjob.

Lauren Baker

Tags: sex erotic funny-humor blow-job finding-home



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She pulled away from Eric's grasp, knelt before Brian and looked up at him.

"Let me suck you off," she said. "Please.

Olivia Cunning

Tags: oral-sex sexy blow-job exhibitionists



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Just for the record, the way to a man's heart isn't through his stomach, but through the best fucking blow job ever. You want a man to be your bitch? Perfect your craft.

Devon Ashley

Tags: sexual-humor blow-job



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