I'm sitting at the bar, rearranging the order of my jokes. I'm under the delusion that I'm having bad shows because of some cosmic misalignment of words, phrases, and ideas. I may as well have cast runes into a spirit bowl, hoping that the collective heart of the audience would open to my necromantic call. Maybe that's how jugglers do it. Those guys never have shitty sets.

Patton Oswalt

Tags: jokes stand-up patton-oswalt casting-runes jugglers necromantic-comedy present-tense spirit-bowl

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So, apart from casting runes, what other hobbies do you have? Forbidden rituals, human sacrifices, torturing? –

Simona Panova

Tags: truth prediction future romantic romance death sinister human lie danger dead magic mystery sacrifice suspense haunted ritual torture girl medieval ancient boy fortune gothic young-adult mysterious dangerous flirt witch divination divine forbidden occult druid torment provocative rite provoke magician wicca sacrifices occultism ominous gothic-romance goth young-adult-romance runes rune fortune-teller haunt fortune-telling predict casting-runes forbid young-adult-gothic-romance cast-runes straightforward tell-the-fortune tormenting tormentor torturing

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