Aaarrggg, ahoy me matey, thars a great grand vagina over yonder." Penises talk like pirates when I'm drunk.

Tara Sivec

Tags: seduction-and-snacks tara-sivec chocolate-lovers

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I am plenty romantic. Just this morning while he slept, I had left Carter a box of his favorite candy next to his pillow - Globs: piles of white chocolate covered, crushed potato chips and pretzels drizzled with caramel. I figured it would soften him up to the note I placed next to the box telling him if he left the toilet seat up one more time and my ass got an involuntary bath at six in the morning, I would put super glue on the head of his penis while he slept. I had even signed the note with a couple of Xs and Os. Who says romance is dead?

Tara Sivec

Tags: tara-sivec futures-and-frosting chocolate-lovers

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I'm the official unofficial reporter.

I.B. Nosey

Tags: humor chocolate-lovers

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