The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.

Carl R. Rogers

Tags: paradox self-awareness self-improvement counselling



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For example, in order to identify these schemas or clarify faulty relational expectations, therapists working from an object relations, attachment, or cognitive behavioral framework often ask themselves (and their clients) questions like these: 1. What does the client tend to want from me or others? (For example, clients who repeatedly were ignored, dismissed, or even rejected might wish to be responded to emotionally, reached out to when they have a problem, or to be taken seriously when they express a concern.) 2. What does the client usually expect from others? (Different clients might expect others to diminish or compete with them, to take advantage and try to exploit them, or to admire and idealize them as special.) 3. What is the client’s experience of self in relationship to others? (For example, they might think of themselves as being unimportant or unwanted, burdensome to others, or responsible for handling everything.) 4. What are the emotional reactions that keep recurring? (In relationships, the client may repeatedly find himself feeling insecure or worried, self-conscious or ashamed, or—for those who have enjoyed better developmental experiences—perhaps confident and appreciated.) 5. As a result of these core beliefs, what are the client’s interpersonal strategies for coping with his relational problems? (Common strategies include seeking approval or trying to please others, complying and going along with what others want them to do, emotionally disengaging or physically withdrawing from others, or trying to dominate others through intimidation or control others via criticism and disapproval.) 6. Finally, what kind of reactions do these interpersonal styles tend to elicit from the therapist and others? (For example, when interacting together, others often may feel boredom, disinterest, or irritation; a press to rescue or take care of them in some way; or a helpless feeling that no matter how hard we try, whatever we do to help disappoints them and fails to meet their need.)

Edward Teyber

Tags: psychology psychotherapy counselling counseling core-belief core-beliefs object-relations



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For far too long, the female gender has been plagued with stereotypes, typecasting, as well as, subtle and blatant discrimination.

Asa Don Brown

Tags: psychology spirituality human-rights counselling females encouraging-and-empowering-girls



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It is in the nature of helping and counselling to be a process moving towards something rather than arriving at a state of completion.

Pete Sanders

Tags: completion development counselling process helping actualization



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Spiritual counselling is helping people find the deep root of stillness in themselves, which is also a connection to everything else.

Jay Woodman

Tags: spiritual connection stillness counselling root



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Birds do not attend flight schools; Rivers do not attend flowing colleges; Fishes do not attend swimming conferences; Trees do not attend fruit bearing seminars... There is something that you can do automatically that someone may not do... Find it and do it! There is something someone may do automatically that you may not do; leave it for him to it!

Israelmore Ayivor

Tags: talent school trees skills talents birds you counselling rivers conference you-can-do-it colleges conferences flowing attend automatically fishes flight-school fruit-bearing seminar seminars swiming swimming-school



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There’s a reason why many people feel most loved and cared for in the therapists’s or counselor’s office: few people ask us questions as well as they do, with the interest that they do. We should consider deprofessionalizing that task, though, and restore it to the context of friendship and mentorship where it originally belonged.

Matthew Lee Anderson

Tags: friendship mentoring counselling



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