I couldn’t trust my own emotions. Which emotional reactions were justified, if any? And which ones were tainted by the mental illness of BPD? I found myself fiercely guarding and limiting my emotional reactions, chastising myself for possible distortions and motivations. People who had known me years ago would barely recognize me now. I had become quiet and withdrawn in social settings, no longer the life of the party. After all, how could I know if my boisterous humor were spontaneous or just a borderline desire to be the center of attention? I could no longer trust any of my heart felt beliefs and opinions on politics, religion, or life. The debate queen had withered. I found myself looking at every single side of an issue unable to come to any conclusions for fear they might be tainted. My lifelong ability to be assertive had turned into a constant state of passivity.
Rachel ReilandTags: self-doubt mental-illness mental-disorder borderline borderline-personality-disorder bpd diagnosis emotional-pain self-blame
Everyone keeps telling me that time heals all wounds, but no one can tell me what I’m supposed to do right now. Right now I can’t sleep. It’s right now that I can’t eat. Right now I still hear his voice and sense his presence even though I know he’s not here. Right now all I seem to do is cry. I know all about time and wounds healing, but even if I had all the time in the world, I still don’t know what to do with all this hurt right now.
Nina GuilbeauTags: loss loneliness mourning lost-love emotional-pain sadness-love loss-quotes sadness-missing-cry
But pain's like water. It finds a way to push through any seal. There's no way to stop it. Sometimes you have to let yourself sink inside of it before you can learn how to swim to the surface.
Katie KacvinskyTags: pain suffering emotions healing mental-illness healing-the-past emotional-pain emotional-wounds emotional-health
He wanted to keep things in, and all I wanted to do was get out.
Kristin HalbrookTags: emotional-pain
...spiritual or emotional pain doesn't become a memory so much as a bruise ...
John GeddesTags: emotions memories emotional-pain
...the words I can't say are the holes I punch in the walls of my psyche...
John GeddesTags: angst psyche unspoken-words emotional-pain
...the secret to writing is to get your own pain - shout it out till it hurts your throat - weep it into your pillow - then write it down ...
John GeddesTags: weeping writing-process writing-from-the-heart emotional-pain writing-secrets
I promised I'd save him, take him home! I promised him!"
. . . Thomas hugged Chuck to his chest, squeezed him as tightly as possible, as if that could somehow bring him back, or show thanks for saving his life, for being his friend when no one else would.
Thomas cried, wept like he'd never wept before. His great, racking sobs echoed through the chamber like the sounds of tortured pain. (pg 358 hardback)
Tags: sadness pledge spoiler emotional-pain
I wish I could take my brain and put it inside your head,” Winslow said. “Just for a moment. Then you’d know what all I can’t find how to say.
Alan HeathcockTags: loss grief grieving emotional-pain emotional-wounds inarticulate
You really need stitches," she tells me."Or you're going to have a scar." I try not to laugh. Stitches aren't going to help. They fix skin, cuts, wounds, heal stuff on the outside. Everything broken with me is on the inside. "I can handle scars, especially one's on the outside.
Jessica SorensenTags: pain sad scars help stitches emotional-pain kayden
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