a) he's late.
b) he's acting like an asshole and blowing me off.
c)he's gotten into a horrible car crash that's left dead.

The most likely answer is A. (We went to prom together, and the limo had to wait in his driveway for half an hour. At the end of the night, we got charged for an extra hour. He- read: his parents- paid for it, but still.)

Lauren Barnholdt

Tags: danger breakup barnholdt ex road-trip



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All we shared was a mattress, and a lie, and an address
Baby I don't need you, well baby I don't need you
Once occupied by a goddess, now it's a room full of boxes
She said, "it's time to leave you" but baby I don't need you!
In a perfect world... her face would not exist
In a perfect world... a broken heart is fixed

Billy Talent

Tags: love music lies lyrics ex billy-talent perfect-world



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Can we go back to using Facebook for what it was originally for - looking up exes to see how fat they got?

Bill Maher

Tags: humor funny internet exes facebook ex



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He assaulted the man with a psychic wave. "You are a cockroach." In his inebraited state, Cody had no resistance at all to a vampire mind control. He fell to the floor and scurried around the foyer on all fours. "I am a cockroach" he muttered in a squeaky voice. "Hmm, about time you figured that one out," Fidelia steped back as he brushed against her long skirt.

Kerrelyn Sparks

Tags: cockroaches vampire ex mind-control



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It made him feel like less of a man. And given how much less of a man he’d felt the past several weeks, that was really saying something. He was surprised someone from the Man Club hadn’t come by to revoke his dick and balls.

Heidi Betts

Tags: humor romance ex jock



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Bad enough that getting turned on when he had nothing more than a bath towel to hide it would make the condition kind of hard to miss, but getting turned on in front of his ex-fiancee was akin to smearing honey on his junk and walking into grizzly territory.

Heidi Betts

Tags: humor romance ex jock



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The Howard Hughes thing hadn’t actually sounded like such a bad deal until about...oh, eight thirty-five this morning. Something about having his ex carry him to the bathroom and help him wash his balls just took all the fun out of becoming an eccentric recluse.

Heidi Betts

Tags: humor romance depression ex jock recluse



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Don't look now, but that's my ex over there."
Surely I'm not the only one who takes "don't look now" as "there's no better time than now." I looked.
"Bad, Ali!" Another slap to my arm. "Bad, bad, bad Ali! Have you no self control?

Gena Showalter

Tags: funny alice rabbit ex



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Sometimes a woman will look back on what she had, not because she wants to go there but to motivate her to do better.

Reuben " Mulah Truth " Holmes II

Tags: life inspirational truth love woman women break-up ex



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Some people don’t realize what they have until it’s gone, but that does not always mean they are supposed to get it back.

Stephan Labossiere

Tags: relationships exes ex break-ups



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