I waved my hand like a frantic dust mop fingers spread ludicrously wide apart as if to say “What jolly fun ” What I wanted to do actually was to leap to my feet strike a pose and burst into one of those “Yo-ho for the open road ” songs they always play in the cinema musicals but I stifled the urge and settled for a ghastly grin and an extra twiddle of the fingers.

Alan Bradley

Tags: funny-humor flavia



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It was quite wrong of me Had I heard what I thought I’d heard or were my ears playing hob with me It was more likely that the sun and the moon should suddenly dance a jolly jig in the heavens than that one of my sisters should apologize. It was simply unheard of.

Alan Bradley

Tags: sisters funny-humor flavia



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I had to make water ” I said. It was the classic female excuse and no male in recorded history had ever questioned it.
“I see ” the Inspector said and left it at that.
Later I would have a quick piddle behind the caravan for insurance purposes. No one would be any the wiser.

Alan Bradley

Tags: hilarious lol flavia



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Compared with my life Cinderella was a spoiled brat.

Alan Bradley

Tags: complaint lol flavia



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I have no fear of the dead. Indeed in my own limited experience I have found them to produce in me a feeling that is quite the opposite of fear. A dead body is much more fascinating than a live one and I have learned that most corpses tell better stories. I’d had the good fortune of seeing several of them in my time.

Alan Bradley

Tags: death excitement flavia



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I remembered that Johnson had declared portrait painting to be an improper employment for a woman. “Public practice of any art and staring in men’s faces is very indelicate in a female,” he had said.

Well I’d seen Dr. Johnson’s face in the book’s frontispiece and I couldn’t imagine anyone male or female wanting to stare into it for any length of time —the man was an absolute toad.

Alan Bradley

Tags: lol insulting flavia



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I remembered Father remarking once that if rudeness was not attributable to ignorance it could be taken as a sure sign that one was speaking to a member of the aristocracy.

Alan Bradley

Tags: humor lol flavia aristocrasy



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It’s not polite to ask ” he said with a slight smile. “One must never ask a policeman his secrets.”

“Why not ”

“For the same reason I don’t ask you yours.”

How I adored this man! Here we were the two of us engaged in a mental game of chess in which both of us knew that one of us was cheating.

At the risk of repetition, how I adored this man!

Alan Bradley

Tags: flavia



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It always surprises me after a family row to find that the world outdoors has remained the same. While the passions and feelings that accumulate like noxious gases inside a house seem to condense and cling to the walls and ceilings like old smoke the out-of-doors is different. The landscape seems incapable of accumulating human radiation. Perhaps the wind blows anger away.

Alan Bradley

Tags: flavia



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As Daffy once said, the best place to hide a glum countenance is onstage at the opera.

Alan Bradley

Tags: advice mystery flavia



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