At fifty times the distance, you dispatched that ko-bold with three arrows to the neck. I’ve earned a trio to the chest. Seems you slapped him while you’re tickling me. You doona want to kill me, which is a good sign. Maybe this is your way of flirting?

Kresley Cole

Tags: funny-and-random



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I walked in on my folks doing it doggy style less than four hours ago."
"Waitress!" Jonas screamed, clicking his fingers madly. "Bring two!" then, more quietly,"You want a neck massage? A bedtime story? A bullet in the ear?

MaryJanice Davidson

Tags: funny funny-and-random



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She never called her son by any name but John; 'love' and 'dear', and such like terms, were reserved for Fanny.

Elizabeth Gaskell

Tags: names mothers sons sobriquet endearment funny-and-random



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Does anyone else day dream about what it would be like if specific age groups just dropped dead all across the world?

Christy Leigh Stewart

Tags: death question generation funny-and-random



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I've purged myself of worldly goods; half my stuff is either being sold or going to charity. I need to go shopping.

Christy Leigh Stewart

Tags: charity shopaholic shop shopping funny-and-random



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You keep the title of 'president' even if you served only one term. The same goes for rapists.

Christy Leigh Stewart

Tags: rape president title funny-and-random



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Do animals understand the concept of dreams or do they think they enter another dimension when they get tired?

Christy Leigh Stewart

Tags: dogs question dimension funny-and-random



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The wider you spread your fingers apart while clapping is equal to the amount of retarded you look while clapping.

Christy Leigh Stewart

Tags: funny applause clapping retarded funny-and-random



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How funny are dogs?

John Marsden

Tags: funny-and-random



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Green grass breaks through snow,
Artemis pleads for my help,
I am so cool.

Rick Riordan

Tags: funny-and-random



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