I just know there's an albino living in the colored quarters. I can feel it in my bones.

Fannie Flagg

Tags: funny-humor



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Awwww, lame, we're not going to disneyworld. (said by the amazing talking dog, Total)

James Patterson

Tags: funny-humor



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YOU. GOT. FOOD. IN. MY. HAIR.

Stephenie Meyer

Tags: funny-humor



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I don't believe in magic.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: funny-humor



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Look," I whisper to Cat, "Shooting star! That's good luck."
She rolls her eyes. "It's a plane, you idiot," she says, and when I look again I can see that she's right. Typical.

Cathy Cassidy

Tags: cat funny-humor mouse lucky-star



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I've endured my entire life struggling from a split personality. The problem is that the other guy, a wise guy named (Jack)...has always been in charge.

Timothy Pina

Tags: funny-humor



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I stabbed him,” Flit said weakly, clutching at the tattered remains of Talon’s shirt.
“With pens,” Talon agreed.
“Is he dead?” Flit’s eyes were huge, the pupils blown black, only a sliver of color showing around the edges. He was probably going into shock.
“I don’t think so,” Talon said. “It’s pretty hard to die by pen.

Aggy Bird

Tags: funny-humor



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Okay, but would you say between us we have the combined IQ of at least a garden slug?

Norah Wilson

Tags: humor funny-humor slugs



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Ooh, big day in town for our park warden,” I said. “They’re even making you wear the uniform.
Hayley’s mom will be happy. She thinks you look hot in it.”
Dad turned as red as his hair.
Mom’s laugh floated out from her studio. “Maya Delaney. Leave your father alone.

Kelley Armstrong

Tags: funny-humor blushing embarrassing



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I'm not crazy, but I suspect the voices in my head are. ~Chrissy

Kelli Sullivan

Tags: funny-humor



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