The IQ and the life expectancy of the average American recently passed each other in opposite directions.
George CarlinTags: intelligence america george-carlin
Don't give your money to the church. They should be giving their money to you.
George CarlinTags: money advice church george-carlin donation
He - and if there is a God, I am convinced he is a he, because no woman could or would ever fuck things up this badly.
George CarlinTags: equality god religion feminism feminist men-and-women george-carlin
There are no bad words. Bad thoughts. Bad intentions, and wooooords.
George CarlinTags: humor philosophy comedy george-carlin
I’m a high-tech low-life. A cutting edge, state-of-the-art bi-coastal multi-tasker and I can give you a gigabyte in a nanosecond!
George CarlinTags: george-carlin
Why should I have to hide the fact that I don't believe there’s a supreme being? There’s no proof of it. There’s no harm in saying you’re an atheist. It doesn't mean you treat people any differently. I live by the Golden Rule to do unto others, as you'd want to be treated.
I just simply don't believe in religion, and I don’t believe necessarily that there’s a supreme being that watches over all of us. I follow the teachings of George Carlin. George said he worshipped the sun. He was a fellow atheist. I’m in good company … Albert Einstein, Mark Twain, Charles Darwin. It’s not like I’m not with good company and intelligent people. There have been some good, intelligent atheists who have lived in the world.
Tags: einstein belief atheism atheist charles-darwin darwin golden-rule albert-einstein company twain mark-twain supreme-being george-carlin carlin
[On school uniforms] Don't these schools do enough damage making all these kids think alike, now they have to make them look alike too? It's not a new idea, either. I first saw it in old newsreels from the 1930s, but it was hard to understand because the narration was in German.
George CarlinTags: humor school history satire george-carlin uniform
You wouldn't know it, from some of the things I've said over the years, but I like people... I do... I like people, but I like them in short bursts. I don't like people for extended periods of time. I'm all right with them for a little while, but once you get past around a minute, minute-and-a-half, I gotta get the f*** outta there.
George CarlinTags: cynicism george-carlin
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