That’s the point. This healthy-feeling time now just feels like a tease. Like I’m in this holding pattern, flying in smooth circles within sight of the airport, in super-comfortable first class. But I can’t enjoy the in-flight movie or free chocolate chip cookies because I know that before the airport is able to make room for us, the plane is going to run out of fuel, and we’re going to crash-land into a fiery, agonizing death.
Jessica VerdiTags: health chronic-illness aids hiv
Shame is the demon that keeps many of us trapped in our pain; healing comes when we gain the courage to confront our demon(s).
J'son M. LeeTags: shame guilt family-relationships family-values aids family-drama family-love hiv
Listen, I wanted to say, I don't need your judgment, okay? I have enough to deal with without you contributing, so can we just get on with this so I can get out of here?
But I couldn't form the words. Dr. Johnson viewed me as a child, and somehow, under his contemptuous gaze, I had regressed to one. I was frightened and shy, and it was all I could do to answer his questions and count the seconds until the end of the visit.
Tags: fear anxiety chronic-illness aids doctors judgmental-people hiv
I didn't want this man touching me in those places. It wasn't that he was being inappropriate, it was just more that he obviously didn't view me as a person, let alone a scared person with actual feelings. He just saw me as yet another scientific specimen there for his own experimenting. I squeezed my eyes shut, cringing the entire time.
Jessica VerdiTags: dehumanization chronic-illness aids doctors hiv
With regards to getting laid and getting AIDS: Being interesting can be an interesting guy’s downfall.
Mokokoma MokhonoanaPage 1 of 1.
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