Hey, look, I thought with a miserable laugh, this day just got worse.

Diana Rowland

Tags: humor-irony-death-zombie



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Three hours ago I was in bed, I thought miserably. I should have stayed there.

Diana Rowland

Tags: humor-irony-death-zombie



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Lying on the metal table in front of me was a middle-aged man decked out in absolutely nothing at all. A dead man. Buck-ass naked with his little shriveled junk right there for everyone to see.

Diana Rowland

Tags: humor-irony-death-zombie



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All of a sudden it seemed as if I could smell the brain, and not in a oh-how-gross way, but as if someone had taken the lid off a pot of gumbo to let the aroma fill the room. And I knew it was the brain that smelled so utterly enticing—knew it with every single cell of my being.
What the hell was wrong with me?

Diana Rowland

Tags: humor-irony-death-zombie



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Good morning!” my partner, Derrel, said in an insanely cheerful voice. “I need my Angel to come out and play.

Diana Rowland

Tags: humor-irony-death-zombie



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Still, waking up this early was just wrong. “Why can’t people be reasonable and only die after eleven A.M.?” I whined.

Diana Rowland

Tags: humor-irony-death-zombie



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I walked into the café, bypassing the waiting people as I scanned for the hulking figure of my partner. It’s official , I thought with a sigh as I spied him at a table for four and realized who else was with him. God hates me.

Diana Rowland

Tags: humor-irony-death-zombie



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Whoa!” I jerked my hand up to stop him. “Wait, what?” I asked as sick horror shot through me. “You mean, like when the bodies get cut open?”
Delight lit his face. “Yes, you’ll be helping with the autopsies. You didn’t know that?

Diana Rowland

Tags: humor-irony-death-zombie



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The smell was like chocolate and cookies and biscuits and gravy and everything else that was delicious. It damn near drove me crazy every time I had to touch one. I’d been fighting the cravings the way I’d never fought the urge to take drugs or get drunk.

Diana Rowland

Tags: humor-irony-death-zombie



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As soon as he was gone I blew my breath out and leaned back against the wall. Awkward. First the cop who’d arrested me, then the paramedic who’d kept me from accidentally killing myself. I didn’t even want to think what a third thing might be.

Diana Rowland

Tags: humor-irony-death-zombie



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