This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.
Sid ZiffTags: wit bad-reviews book humorist misattributed-dorothy-parker
A perfect summer day is when the sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, the birds are singing, and the lawn mower is broken.
James DentonTags: humorist
What I look forward to is continued immaturity followed by death.
Dave BarryTags: death humorist outlook columnist
If you're too serious to make life a laughing matter, then you seriously need to make laughter matter to you today and every day!
Jeannine M. LubyTags: humorist wellness inspirational-attitude
I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA.
Carroll BryantTags: humor humorist humourous humorous-quotations
In the afternoon the ship's company assembled aft, on deck, under the awnings; the flute, the asthmatic meodeon, and the consumptive clarinet crippled the Star Spangled Banner, the choir chased it to cover, and George came in with a peculiarly lacerating screech on the final note and slaughtered it. Nobody mourned. We carried out the corpse on three cheers (that joke was not intentional and I do not endorse it).
Mark TwainRandy lay there like a slug. It was his only defense.
Jean ShepherdKnowledge may be power, but half of what I know I wish I could forget.
Carroll BryantTags: humor humorist humorous comedy-humor philisophical comical philisophical-life
Today I feel like I did tomorrow.
Carroll BryantTags: humor humorist comedy humorous comedy-humor humorous-quotes
How am I going to explain to my kids one day that I can't buy them a happy meal because the toy will make them fat?
Carroll BryantTags: humor funny humorist humorous funny-humor funny-satire
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