I'm an American, our names don't mean shit.
Quentin TarantinoTags: americanism humorous-quotations
99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.
Quentin R. BufogleTags: money drinking alcohol humorous-quotations money-issues 1-percent 99-percent drinking-quotes humorous-quotes money-happiness money-quotes
Blast ignorant people with high-powered streams of information and wisdom, but only when fire hoses are not readily available.
Cassandra DuffyTags: humorous-quotations
I'm half good and I'm half bad. My mama is a very good girl and my daddy is a very bad boy. And I guess that leaves me somewhere sort of...here.
C. JoyBell C.Tags: humor life good bad life-and-living good-and-evil humorous-quotations bad-boys
Wow,” says Peter, “when your guidance counselor tells you to die, you really have problems.
Adam SelzerTags: humor humorous humorous-quotations
Don't eat earwax avoid roasted cabbage and look on the bright side of life -Angela
Christopher PaoliniTags: humorous-quotations
Intelligence is being intelligent enough to know you're not so intelligent as you intelligently once thought.
Carroll BryantTags: humor philosophical humorous-quotations
Some people make things happen. Some people watch things happen. And then there are those who wonder, 'What the hell just happened?
Carroll BryantTags: humorous humorous-quotations humorous-philosophy
I believe in love. Unfortunately, it doesn't believe me. Lust, on the other hand, is a nagging wife poking constantly at my DNA.
Carroll BryantTags: humor humorist humourous humorous-quotations
Have you hugged your favorite Dork lately? Most of us are squeezably soft and adorable.
Michael P. CluttonTags: humor humorous-quotations
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