After a while the Senior Wrangler said, "Do you know, I read the other day that every atom in your body is changed every seven years? New ones keep getting attached and old ones keep on dropping off. It goes on all the time. Marvelous, really."

The Senior Wrangler could do to a conversation what it takes quite thick treacle to do to the pedals of a precision watch.

"Yes? What happens to the old ones?" said Ridcully, interested despite himself.

"Dunno. They just float around in the air, I suppose, until they get attached to someone else."

The Archchancellor looked affronted.

"What, even wizards?"

"Oh, yes. Everyone. It's part of the miracle of existence."

"Is it? Sounds like bad hygiene to me," said the Archchancellor. "I suppose there's no way of stopping it?"

"I shouldn't think so," said the Senior Wrangler, doubtfully. "I don't think you're supposed to stop miracles of existence."

"But that means everythin' is made up of everythin' else," said Ridcully.

"Yes. Isn't it amazing?

Terry Pratchett

Tags: wizards atoms hygiene



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I must go the washroom. I've shaken a lot of hands.

Yann Martel

Tags: hands hygiene handshake



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Well, a lot’s happened since I last showered.

Nicki Elson

Tags: humor hygiene



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A customer facing crucial decisions:

What should I wipe myself with? What should I brush with? His personal hygiene was deteriorating rapidly as he stared at the rows of possibilities, sweating profusely. Would he ever bathe again?

Benson Bruno

Tags: funny consumerism hygiene



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Civilisation is the distance that man has placed between himself and his own excreta.

Brian W. Aldiss

Tags: civilisation cleanliness hygiene excreta



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One senses that, in these conditions, no amount of wet-wiping could bring true hygiene.

Tahir Shah

Tags: travel hygiene



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Please, Percy...change your clothes. You smell like you've been run over by an electric horse.

Rick Riordan

Tags: humor horses annabeth-chase percy-jackson hygiene percy-jackson-and-the-olympians heroes-of-olympus the-mark-of-athena



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Our assholes will be clean but we must never wash our hands. Our immune systems will be strengthened by our being dirty. Not filthy. Just mildly grimy. Filthy fingernails have always been a favorite fashion accessory of mine. Especially when you place your hands in the prayer positions. Matter of fact, I urge all my followers to forgo nail polish permanently and replace it with expertly applied soot. The nonexistent gods above will ignore our prayers better this way.

John Waters

Tags: god atheism fashion prayer gods glamour theism nails hygiene filth grime



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No one washes their hands after they piss unless they’re in a public place. If I’m at the airport, or a restaurant, and someone else is there, I’ll soap up for the sake of civilization, but it’s only for show, I don’t really care if I have ultraviolet traces of urine or feces on my hands. But, if I see someone walk oudda the men’s without soaping up I’ll think he’s deranged, borderline psychotic. At least pretend that washing your hands matters. You know, for the sake of civilization.

Shannon Lyndsy

Tags: humor satire hygiene



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And when Hightower approaches, the smell of plump unwashed flesh and unfresh clothing--that odor of unfastidious sedentation, of static overflesh not often enough bathed--is well nigh overpowering. [...] It is the odor of goodness. Of course it would smell bad to us that are bad and sinful.

William Faulkner

Tags: hygiene



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