I don't mind making jokes, but I don't want to look like one.

Marilyn Monroe

Tags: marilyn-monroe appearance jokes



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A joke is an epigram on the death of a feeling.

Friedrich Nietzsche

Tags: humor humour jokes



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Our country is the best country in the world. We are swimming in prosperity and our President is the best president in the world. We have larger apples and better cotton and faster and more beautiful machines. This makes us the greatest country in the world. Unemployment is a myth. Dissatisfaction is a fable. In preparatory school America is beautiful. It is the gem of the ocean and it is too bad. It is bad because people believe it all. Because they become indifferent. Because they marry and reproduce and vote and they know nothing.

John Cheever

Tags: life indifference america marriage delusions fables dissatisfaction prosperity jokes unemployment



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Don't answer the door in a wedding dress and veil, he might not think you're joking.

Amy Sedaris

Tags: romance relationships jokes dates



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What's so unpleasant about being drunk?"
"Ask a glass of water!

Douglas Adams

Tags: humour drunk jokes



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Electricity is actually made up of extremely tiny particles called electrons, that you cannot see with the naked eye unless you have been drinking.

Dave Barry

Tags: humour funny jokes



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A person reveals his character by nothing so clearly as the joke he resents.

Georg Christoph Lichtenberg

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The gods too are fond of a joke.

Aristotle

Tags: humor god religion jokes



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Kissing the frog to get the prince is a waste of a perfectly good frog.

Jim Benton

Tags: fun jokes



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I've said it before and I'll say it again, my lord. You are an evil man.

Tamora Pierce

Tags: humor jokes kel raoul



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