Hal frowned. "Are you sure this is a good idea?"

"Uh, live in a tropical paradise for a week and sip fruity drinks with umbrellas in them by the pool? Yeah, Hal," I said, cranking up the sarcasm far past eleven, "that's a fate worse than death. I don't know what I was thinking."

"No," he said, stretching the word out longer than was healthy for it, "I was thinking more like going on a honeymoon without a wife."

I dropped a sock and looked up at him, stung. "Don't rub it in, man.

Cary Attwell

Tags: humour left-at-the-altar

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Dear Aunt Patty,

Thank you for coming to be part of what definitely ranks in the top five worst days of my life. While your generosity is appreciated, I am returning this gift, as forced bachelorhood necessitates total abstinence from bamboo placemats and matching napkin rings in my daily life.

Sincerely,
Emory

Too much?

Cary Attwell

Tags: humour left-at-the-altar wedding-presents

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