Maruman does not loll.
Isobelle CarmodyTags: humor humour absurd funny internet cat accidental coincidence lol lolcat loll post-apocalypse pre-meme
A recent police study found that you're much more likely to get shot by a fat cop if you run.
Dennis MillerTags: humor police lol tracking
Vhat ozzer abilities do you haf?" ter Borcht snapped, which his assistant waited, pen in hand.
Gazzy thought. "I have X-ray vision," he said. He peered at ter Borcht's chest, then blinked and looked alarmed.
Ter Borcht was startled for a second, but then he frowned. "Don't write dat down," he told his assistant in irritation. The assistant froze in midsentence.
"You. Do you haf any qualities dat distinguish you in any way?"
Nudge chewed on a fingernail. "You mean, like, besides the WINGS?" She shook her shoulders gently, and her beautiful fawn-colored wings unfolded a bit.
His face flushed, and I felt like cheering. "Yes," he said stiffly. "Besides de vings."
"Hmm. Besides de vings." Nudge tapped one finger against her chin. "Um..." Her face brightened. "I once ate nine Snickers bars in one sitting. Without barfing. That was a record!"
"Hardly a special talent," ter Borcht said witheringly.
Nudge was offended. "Yeah? Let's see YOU do it."
...
"I vill now eat nine Snickers bars," Gazzy said in a perfect, creepy imitation of ter Borcht's voice, "visout bahfing."
Iggy rubbed his forehead with one hand. "Well, I have a highly developed sense of irony."
Ter Borcht tsked. "You are a liability to your group. I assume you alvays hold on to someone's shirt, yes? Following dem closely?"
"Only when I'm trying to steal their dessert"
...Fang pretended to think, gazing up at the ceiling. "Besides my fashion sense? I play a mean harmonica."
"I vill now destroy de Snickuhs bahrs!" Gazzy barked.
Tags: humour lol ride james-patterson maximum snickers
I swore I would love you 'til the end of time, so now I'm praying for the end of time to hurry up and arrive.
Meat LoafTags: lol
England is a nation of shopkeepers.
Napoléon BonaparteTags: lol
Finally! You're here!"
Uh....Do I know you?"
Well, no....But you're here, all the same...
Tags: humor book party conversation lol
Archer! Let us fetch a spot of tea, old boy!
Rachel HawkinsTags: lol
You know, you're kind of squeamish for such a lethal person
Suzanne CollinsTags: lol
Warning: This book contains graphic language, sex, lies, intrigue, clowns, kleptomania, anal sex, oral sex, mutual masturbation, bad driving, good cooking, and the missing head of a Justin Timberlake statue. Not for the sour of disposition.
L.B. GreggLet's say you have an ax. Just a cheap one, from Home Depot. On one bitter winter day, you use said ax to behead a man. Don't worry, the man was already dead. Or maybe you should worry, because you're the one who shot him.
David WongTags: lol
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