Kate's Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Driving Beast Lord crazy.

Ilona Andrews

Tags: funny kate-daniels ilona-andrews-website magic-bleeds

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I looked at the canine companion. “Me cookies. You stay.

Ilona Andrews

Tags: magic-bleeds

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The phone rang. I picked it up. "Kate Daniels"

"It's me," Curran said. "I—"

I hung up.

Ilona Andrews

Tags: magic-bleeds

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You slept with Curran and you didn’t tell me? I’m your best friend.”
“It didn’t come up.”
“How disappointing for you.”
Ha-ha. “That’s not what I meant.

Ilona Andrews

Tags: magic-bleeds

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It seems that the young woman made some indelicate suggestion of a threesome...When I got there, Miss Nash was standing by the hot tub in a small bikini, pointing the business end of a SIG-Sauer P-226 at her fella and concerned members of the hotel staff, while dunking the scantily clad female's head under the water and asking, "Who's diving for clams now, bitch?

Ilona Andrews

Tags: humor magic-bleeds

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On your best day, you're only as good as I am on my worst with one arm tied behind my back.

Ilona Andrews

Tags: magic-bleeds

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He'd laugh in my face, then I'd slice him to ribbons and then he'd break my neck

Ilona Andrews

Tags: kate curran ilona-andrews magic-bleeds

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Any messages for me?" Usually I got one or two, but mostly people who wanted my help preferred to talk in person.
"Yes. Hold on." She pulled out a handful of pink tickets and recited from memory, without checking the paper. "Seven forty-two a.m., Mr. Gasparian: I curse you. I curse your arms so they wither and die and fall off your body. I curse your eyeballs to explode. I curse your feet to swell until blue. I curse your spine to crack. I curse you. I curse you. I curse you.

Ilona Andrews

Tags: kate cursing ilona-andrews magic-bleeds maxine

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The vampire leaned forward, tapping a scimitar claw. "Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?"
"Yep."
"Is he carrying a moon on his pitchfork?"
"No, it's a pie.

Ilona Andrews

Tags: lion kate pie ilona-andrews magic-bleeds doodle

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I paused with the pen in my hand. "He burst into flames?"
"He became engulfed in fire."
"Was his buddy made out of orange rocks and at any point yell, 'It's clobbering time'?

Ilona Andrews

Tags: kate ilona-andrews magic-bleeds clobbering-time

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