Hell, I’m practically an escort for my rich doctor clients. They call and I come running whispering sweet nothings in their ears and whipping out some of the best drugs money can buy. Matter of fact, we just got some meds in that makes Viagra look like chewable kiddie vitamins. One of my doctors told me when he came it was so good, he blacked out temporarily. Me and my boy toy are trying that one out tonight.
A.T. HicksTags: humor girlfriends viagra over-the-top sex-crazed
Well, Nero," Genghis said, "I just wanted to give you this rose-a small gift of congratulations for the wonderful concert you gave us last night!"
"Oh, thank you," Nero said, taking the rose out of Genghis's hand and giving it a good smell. "I was wonderful, wasn't I?"
"You were perfection!" Genghis said. "The first time you played your sonata, I was deeply moved. The second time, I had tears in my eyes. The third time, I was sobbing. The fourth time, I had an uncontrollable emotional attack. The fifth time-" The Baudelaires did not hear about the fifth time because Nero's door swung shut behind them.
Tags: absurd funny exaggeration lemony-snicket a-series-of-unfortunate-events silly the-austere-academy over-the-top count-olaf
While you were busy trying to prove God stands behind you, God was before me lighting the trail, so he could lead us both.
Shannon L. AlderTags: god religion relationships dogma rules novels problems conflict commandments privacy talk ridiculous self-righteousness gospel neighbors mental-illness piety obviousness move-on communicate preaching forgive facebook reach-out religions relentless silly pious out-there insecure be-kind low-self-esteem worthless hidden-agendas slighted over-the-top building-people-up end-it-with-talking jilted love-everyone making-a-point practice-what-you-preach tearing-people-down upfront
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