I guess the real reason that my wife and I had children is the same reason that Napoleon had for invading Russia: it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Bill Cosby

Tags: parenting-humor



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Got any mood music?”
“If you press Play on the stereo you’re going to hear Miley Cyrus.”
“I don’t know who that is.”
“Count your blessings.

Tere Michaels

Tags: humor parenting-humor



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There are two philosophies when it comes to getting young children to sleep. There is 'sleep training,' which basically involves putting your kids to bed and listening to them scream all night; or there is 'attachment parenting,' which essentially involves lying down with your kids, cuddling them, and then listening to them scream all night.

Jim Gaffigan

Tags: parenting-humor attachment-parenting sleep-training



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Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.

Jim Gaffigan

Tags: parenting-humor



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I don't know what's more exhausting about parenting: the getting up early, or acting like you know what you're doing.

Jim Gaffigan

Tags: humor parenting-humor



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I am the king. You’re the knight sitting at my round table. That’s the nature of our relationship when it comes to war or other conflict resolution in this family.

Sarah Black

Tags: parenting-humor



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