Bad news, Harry. I've just been to see Professor McGonagall about the Firebolt. She – er, got a bit shirty with me. Told me I'd got my priorities wrong. Seemed to think I cared more about winning the Cup than I do about staying alive. Just because I told her I didn't care if it threw you off, as long as you caught the Snitch first.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: humor oliver-wood priority quidditch



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Warrington’s aim’s so pathetic I’d be more worried if he was aiming for the person next to me.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: quidditch aim-humor



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Harry was speeding toward the ground when the crowd saw him clap his hand to his mouth as though he was going to be sick-he hit the field on all fours-coughed-and something gold fell into his hand.
'I've got the snitch!' he shouted, waving it above his head, and the game ended in complete confusion.
'He didn't catch it, he nearly swalloed it,' Flint was still howling twenty minutes later, but it made no difference-Harry hadn't broken any rules and Lee Jordan was still happily shouting the results-Gryffindor had won by 170 points to 60.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: quidditch



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The long game was ended, the Snitch had been caught, it was time to leave the air…

J.K. Rowling

Tags: death quidditch snitch



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Er — have the Bludgers ever killed anyone?” Harry asked, hoping he sounded offhand.
“Never at Hogwarts. We’ve had a couple of broken jaws but nothing worse than that. You don’t have to worry about the Quaffle or the Bludgers —”
“— unless they crack my head open.”
“Don’t worry, the Weasleys are more than a match for the Bludgers — I mean, they’re like a pair of human Bludgers themselves.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: oliver-wood quidditch fred-and-george bludger



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Training for the ballet, Potter?" yelled Malfoy.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: quidditch draco-malfoy



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Madam Pince, our librarian, tells me that it is 'pawed about, dribbled on, and generally maltreated' nearly everyday - a high compliment for any book.

J.K. Rowling

Tags: reading books quidditch



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And it’s Johnson, Johnson with the Quaffle, what a player that girl is, I’ve been saying it for years but she still won’t go out with me —'
'JORDAN!' yelled Professor McGonagall.
'Just a fun fact, Professor, adds a bit of interest —

J.K. Rowling

Tags: harry-potter quidditch j-k-rowling order-of-the-phoenix jordan professor-mcgonagall



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I'm sitting in the bleachers, watching longingly as all the boys and umbumped girls in my Personal Health and Fitness class play Muggle Quidditch. I don't even like the game very much, I think it's silly, but I so miss physical activity that I'd be thrilled if I could run around the gymnasium with a broom between my legs, chasing after the human snitch wearing a gold pinny.

Megan McCafferty

Tags: funny quidditch harry-potter-related



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Zen cuts straight through the Quidditch match in progress and almost gets taken down by a Beater hurling a Nerf quaffle right at his machopartes.

Megan McCafferty

Tags: funny quidditch harry-potter-related



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