Karl Marx: "Religion is the opiate of the masses."

Carrie Fisher: "I did masses of opiates religiously.

Carrie Fisher

Tags: humor writing fiction addiction acting celebrities recovery alcoholism dysfunctional-families producing rehab screenwriting wishful-drinking



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The worst gift I was given is when I got out of rehab that Christmas; a bottle of wine. It was delicious.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: christmas alcohol wine gift rehab



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I found the prospect daunting, but somehow comforting, too, because the counselors insisted it could be done, and, after all, many of them were recovering alcoholics themselves.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: comfort recovery alcoholism rehab



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Jimmy put in a word and told them that if I made it, I wouldn't be able to live with myself without paying them back. That I'd sooner die than owe anyone money for helping me.

Apparently Jimmy knew more about me at that point than I knew about myself.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: friendship self-awareness debt rehab



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I told her that I didn't want to take any drugs. That I had come here not to take drugs.

"Listen," she said, not unkindly, "up until now I would say that ninety-nine percent of all the narcotics you have taken in your life you bought from guys you didn't know, in bathrooms or on street corners, something like that. Correct?"

I nodded.

"Well these guys could have been selling you salt or strychnine. They didn't care. They wanted your money. I don't care about your money, and, unlike your previous suppliers, I went to college to study just the right drugs to give to people like you in order to help you get better. So, bearing all that in mind ... Take the fucking drugs!"

I took the drugs.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: drugs rehab doctors



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Gillette--The best a man can get."

I stared at the screen. What happened to me? I was meant to be one of those guys, vigorous and athletic and successful and, most of all, American. I was going to walk on the moon, be a movie star or a rock got or a comedian. I was going to have an amazing life and kids with Helen and die like Chaplin a thousand years from now in my Beverly Hills mansion surrounded by my adoring family, with the grieving world media standing by. Instead, I was just another show-business mediocrity. A drunk who shat his pants and ran for help.

My life had been careless and selfish. Pleasure in the moment was my only thought, my solitary motivation. I had disappointed whoever had been foolish enough to love me, and left them scarred.

I was a very long way from being the best a man can get.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: love advertising contemplation realization rehab



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Whether I or anyone else accepted the concept of alcoholism as a disease didn't matter; what mattered was that when treated as a disease, those who suffered from it were most likely to recover.

Craig Ferguson

Tags: recovery disease alcoholism rehab pathology



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My daughter, Carly, has been in and out of drug treatment facilities since she was thirteen. Every time she goes away, I have a routine: I go through her room and search for drugs she may have left behind. We have a laugh these days because Carly says, “So you were lookingfor drugs I might have left behind? I’m a drug addict, Mother. We don’t leave drugs behind, especially if we’re going into treatment. We do all the drugs. We don’t save drugs back for later. If I have drugs, I do them. All of them. If I had my way, we would stop for more drugs on the way to rehab, and I would do them in the parking lot of the treatment center.

Dina Kucera

Tags: addiction drugs drug-addiction rehab



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So are you an inmate or a rubbernecker?" she asks.

"Rubbernecker," I answer without hesitation. "You?"

"I'm a screw. Or on staff, anyway. Used to be an inmate. Repeat offender. Crimes against my body. Puking sickness followed by heroin, which led to more puking sickness." I'd be surprised at her forthrightness, but that's addicts for you. The twelve steps crack 'em open and then they can't shut up.

Lauren Beukes

Tags: addiction addicts therapy rehab 12-step-programs



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I smile thinly, to make it clear that this will happen when hell turns into a family friendly summer resort.

Lauren Beukes

Tags: humor hell rehab



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