To some I am known as Chief. And these are usually people who work in Radio Shack or try to sell me shoes. To others I am known as Buddy. These are people who dwell in bars and wonder if I’ve got a problem or what it is that I am “looking at.” And to still others, who are in that same bar, standing just off to the side, I am “Get Him!

Demetri Martin

Tags: humor names bars salesmen



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They all call me "Excuse me," even though my nametag clearly says "Jordan." It's like people don't actually exist while they're working. Workers are just tools who aren't supposed to have feelings or personalities. You don't become human until your shift is over. Until then, we're all just zombies. We're dead to the world: infected people who need to be avoided, unless, of course, someone needs to know where the paintbrushes are located.

J. Cornell Michel

Tags: existence world humanity people work human-nature human dead personalities names humans feelings feeling personality need working zombie sales feel work-ethic zombies tools works exist shift name dead-people infectious avoid over dead-to-the-world location salesman tool jordan infection salesmen zombie-apocalypse paint-brush feels people-suck infected infectious-diseases zompoc excuse-me avoided infected-people located name-tag nametag paintbrushes supposed-to until-then



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We first become salesmen as children in the confession booths of our parents.

Criss Jami

Tags: lies parents children manipulation confession business deceit salesmen



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