Oh, look, the lights are so pretty,” I said dreamily, having just noticed
them.
I smiled at the way the lights were dancing overhead, pink and yellow and
blue. I felt some pressure on my arm and thought, I should look over and see
what’s going on, but then the thought was gone, sliding away like Jell-O off a
hot car hood.
“Fang?”
“Yeah. I’m here.”
I struggled to focus on him. “I’m so glad you’re here.”
“Yeah, I got that.”
“I don’t know what I’d do without you.” I peered up at him, trying to see
past the too-bright lights.
“You’d be fine,” he muttered.
“No,” I said, suddenly struck by how unfine I would be. “I would be totally
unfine. Totally.” It seemed very urgent that he understand this.
Again I felt some tugging on my arm, and I really wondered what that was
about. Was Ella’s mom going to start this procedure any time soon?
“It’s okay. Just relax.” He sounded stiff and nervous. “Just...relax. Don’t
try to talk.”
“I don’t want my chip anymore,” I explained groggily, then frowned.
“Actually, I never wanted that chip.”
“Okay,” said Fang. “We’re taking it out.”
“I just want you to hold my hand.”
“I am holding your hand.”
“Oh. I knew that.” I drifted off for a few minutes, barely aware of
anything, but feeling Fang’s hand still in mine.
“Do you have a La-Z-Boy somewhere?” I roused myself to ask, every word an
effort.
“Um, no,” said Ella’s voice, somewhere behind my head.
“I think I would like a La-Z-Boy,” I mused, letting my eyes drift shut
again. “Fang, don’t go anywhere.”
“I won’t. I’m here.”
“Okay. I need you here. Don’t leave me.”
“I won’t.”
“Fang, Fang, Fang,” I murmured, overwhelmed with emotion. “I love you. I
love you sooo much.” I tried to hold out my arms to show how much, but I
couldn’t move them.
“Oh, jeez,” Fang said, sounding strangled.
Tags: friendship friends love comfort dizziness together anesthesia operation i-love-you holding-hands otp don-t-go procedure saying-i-love-you
If you had one last breath - what would you say?
If you had one hour to use your limbs before you would lose the use of them forever - would you sit there on the coach?
If you knew that you wouldn't see tomorrow who would you make amends with?
If you knew you had only an hour left on this earth - what would be so pressing that you just had to do it, say it, or see it?
Well there is something that I can guarantee - that one day you will have one day, one hour and one breath left.
Just make sure that before that day that you have said, done and experienced everything that you dream of doing now.
Do it now - that is what today is for.
So pick up the phone and call an old friend that you have fallen out of touch with.
Get out and run a mile and use your body and sweat.
Seek out someone in your life to say your sorry to. Seek someone In your life that you need to thank. Seek someone in your life that you need to express your feelings of love to.
Then when that day comes you will be ok with it all.
Tags: death-and-dying life-lessons saying-i-love-you saying-sorry
You don't have to say I love you to say I love you.
Jodi PicoultTags: words affection actions-inspirational-action saying-i-love-you
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