When you care more if someone else lives than you do about yourself- is that what [love is]?
Jodi PicoultTags: first-love self-abnegation
Every November of my boyhood, we put on red poppies and attended highly patriotic services in remembrance of those who had 'given' their lives. But on what assurance did we know that these gifts had really been made? Only the survivors—the living—could attest to it. In order to know that a person had truly laid down his life for his friends, or comrades, one would have to hear it from his own lips, or at least have heard it promised in advance. And that presented another difficulty. Many brave and now dead soldiers had nonetheless been conscripts. The known martyrs—those who actually, voluntarily sought death and rejoiced in the fact—had been the kamikaze pilots, immolating themselves to propitiate a 'divine' emperor who looked (as Orwell once phrased it) like a monkey on a stick. Their Christian predecessors had endured torture and death (as well as inflicted it) in order to set up a theocracy. Their modern equivalents would be the suicide murderers, who mostly have the same aim in mind. About people who set out to lose their lives, then, there seems to hang an air of fanaticism: a gigantic sense of self-importance unattractively fused with a masochistic tendency to self-abnegation. Not wholesome.
The better and more realistic test would therefore seem to be: In what cause, or on what principle, would you risk your life?
Tags: friends fanaticism christianity patriotism war death religion childhood self-importance suicide sacrifice principles torture soldiers martyrdom theocracy orwell martyrs masochism ugliness november boyhood comrades self-abnegation causes christian-martyrs conscription kamikaze memorials poppies suicide-attack
[In 16th century European society] Marriage was the triumphal arch through which women, almost without exception, had to pass in order to reach the public eye. And after marriage followed, in theory, the total self-abnegation of the woman.
Antonia FraserTags: perception empowerment gender men women history marriage feminism self-determination misogyny inequality independence matrimony dignity social-norms married-life subjugation women-s-rights self-abnegation wedlock
[A]s though mindful of the wife of Lot, who looked back from behind him, thou deliveredst me first to the sacred garments and monastic profession before thou gavest thyself to God. And for that in this one thing thou shouldst have had little trust in me I vehemently grieved and was ashamed. For I (God [knows]) would without hesitation precede or follow thee to the Vulcanian fires according to thy word. For not with me was my heart, but with thee. But now, more than ever, if it be not with thee, it is nowhere. For without thee it cannot anywhere exist.
Héloïse d'ArgenteuilTags: love men women integrity loneliness trust shame abandonment grief sacrifice dignity self-abnegation convent following celibacy subjection monastic-life self-abandonment
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